Seize the Day, Seize the Moment

It’s days like this where I’m fortunate enough to sit in a Starbucks on a warm afternoon and just watch life around me. I think that sometimes we take for granted some of life’s simplest joys. Give me a cup of coffee, a good Pandora station, and a little time to myself and I’m set.

We live life in this constant state of motion and rarely do we take time to ourselves to kick back, relax, and just let life play out. Because we’re so caught up in this world, we fail to see the beauty in the world happening around us.

Whether it be watching a teenage couple in the corner of Starbucks laughing and enjoying a cup of coffee, or taking notice of two white girls in high waisted jean shorts waiting for their Java Chip Frappucinos, or sitting beside some lady staring intently more at her phone than her laptop, or watching a married couple probably in their 30s deciding what to order, or watching a mother spill a couple of coffee while her daughter sits at the 2 person table delighting in her chocolate cake pop, or the Starbucks workers frantically going around the store trying to prepare customer drinks, life is at constant motion and I’m here watching it in slow motion and taking it all in.

You’d be surprised how amazing it is to see how people carry out their daily lives and how our paths intertwine without us even acknowledging it. I don’t know who any of these people are and I don’t think they really care for a 19 year old Asian college student sipping on a Venti Vanilla Macchiato who’s actually writing about their life. However without these people who happened to stumble into this Starbucks on this Wednesday afternoon in June, this blog post wouldn’t even be happening and I couldn’t be more thankful than having the opportunity to watch them live their life.

So what point am I trying to prove?

Honestly I don’t know. Sometimes I write just to write and sometimes I write with a purpose in mind. I couldn’t tell you all of the points I’m trying to prove but rather advising you to go sit somewhere with a lot of people and just people watch. Go to Starbucks, go to a park, go to the library, just get out and just go. You gain a deeper appreciation for life because you’ll realize that eventually we need to slow down and stop. If you never stop and take a second to look at what’s going on around you, you’ll never be able to live in the present because you’ll always be at a constant worry for the future.  

Maybe you won’t see the same things I’m seeing right now but I’m hoping you’ll see that life shouldn’t always be busy because days pass and years pass in the blink of an eye. The people you see and know now turn into memories and in time things fade away.

Savor every moment because every moment you’re living and every moment you’re breathing is of the utmost importance. Sure our lives are chaotic and are full of misconstrued moments where we’ll never know the full intent or significance of it, but at the same time it’s a masterpiece of time where our moment becomes the combination of all the people’s moments around us. What you take from the moment is up to you and whether you decide to stop and live in it or let it pass is completely up to you.

The lady next to me who is now on her 3^rd cup of coffee since me being here may not care about this little fragment of time, but to me it is everything because life couldn’t be greater than it is now.

Our life is full of a million moments. Some we take with us, some we try to forget about, some we can’t even remember, and some we wait wondering what will happen next. Whether it be 30 seconds, an hour, or a day of nothing but bliss, these are the moments that change us and are the ones we hold onto forever. In the end, it’s about finding those moments that take our breath away and remind us how beautiful and perfect life is.

Reckless

I love being straightforward. I love being spontaneous. I love being who I am.

I love sending random reckless text messages because how great is it to be vulnerable and open to people you care about. Whether it be at the crack of dawn or in the middle of the night, why wouldn’t I want to tell people I’m thinking of them? What do I have to lose if I’m simply being myself? Nothing.

I love telling people how much I love them and how perfect I think they are. People think I’m crazy to believe that there’s perfect people in this world and that perfection is merely a concept we can’t grasp but I still like to be that big eyed dreamer and open minded believer. I find joy in telling people how much they mean to me and how much they have impacted my life. I like telling people “I like your face,” or “You are beautiful,” or “You’re perfect.” I like to be an open book and speak what I feel.

Because one day, I’m going to die. I might die in a car accident, I might get shot, I might die of cancer.

Maybe it’s absolutely crazy. Maybe it’s absolutely weird. Maybe it seems completely impossible to just be so open to people— to just people in, to just let people know you love them and to let them know you need them in your life. Why would you want to wait for a day for when a person is at the edge of their life and you’re just now waiting for that point in time to tell them everything they mean to you?

Sometimes I wish people understood how much I love them and all the meaning behind my texts. Sometimes I wish I could exemplify the love that the Lord has for me to others. I wish people could experience the feeling of overwhelming joy where your heart literally feels like exploding and you just want to go out and love the world. I wish people could see that I would give anything to them and that I love them beyond words could ever say. Because one day, I won’t be here to say “I love you” anymore.

But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate than wanting to love and be loved.

And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never now the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans. We never know how much are actions and words can truly change a life.

We never know when that car is coming. We never know when that bullet is coming. We never know who’s going to have cancer.

We never know when our time has come. 

$$$ No Money, Mo’ Problems. $$$

Ever heard the saying, “mo’ money, mo’ problems?” You might have heard it from Notorious B.I.G. or just hear someone randomly say it. To me, I feel like if you have more money then you should have less problems because you can practically solve all of them with money. Seems pretty straightforward to me. However, this wasn’t the deal for me. This past semester, I experienced a lesson where I had no money, and nothing but a ton of problems.

I have a typical reputation of being a constant job hopper. Over the course of my Freshman Year in college, I’ve had job positions and interviews at Great American Cookies, GAP, The North Face, Einstein Bagels, UAB Hospital, Olive Garden, and Starbucks. This past semester, I experienced a period of unemployment and it was during that time that I learned an important lesson from God.

At the beginning of January, I had quit The North Face and was awaiting job interviews and final decisions from numerous jobs. I constantly stayed by phone hoping that I would get a call from a number I didn’t know and hoping it was a job interview. I had become so anxious about life as I watched my bank account slowly creep towards $0. This term of unemployment with no income lasted for 3 months as I became more and more concerned with the fact that I wouldn’t end up with a job.

Over this time period, I learned that I had become so dependent on money to satisfy all my wants, not my needs. I wanted new clothes, I wanted to go out to eat, I wanted to go buy a smoothie, I wanted to go buy some coffee at O’Henry’s, I wanted to go eat my stress away at Krispy Kreme. I had become so dependent on my income to help live from day to day. It wasn’t until about 2 months into this unemployment period did I start to reflect on this whole experience. God was giving me the ultimate test of patience and reliance on Him through this time.

Because of my dependence on money, I was overlooking all the other things in life. I was focusing on the worldly desires of this world when rather I could be focusing on God’s creation. I was able to grow in my faith with God during this time because now that I wasn’t out and about, I was actually praying or reading my devotional. I was actually focusing more on the relationships around me and not worrying about what new button up I should get at Vineyard Vines.

“Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.”

                -Ecclesiastes 5:10

I was so focused on making money and spending it that I neglected all the things around me. I was never satisfied with a $200 paycheck because I just wanted more. I had the mindset that I could make more and more. Enough was never enough for me. I was in love with money for what it could offer to me. However, over time I realized that money cannot and will not ever be satisfying.

There’s a quote I’ve seen that states, “Some people are so poor that the only thing they have is money.” Reflecting on this quote, I was one of those people and it’s shocking to even think about it in that light. With God, I’m rich. I am rich in faith and I can abound in the wealth of his love and grace. This triumphs over money any day because you can’t put a price on God’s love. It’s simply free and simply endless.

Today, I am fortunate and blessed to have a job at Starbucks at UAB. Over constant prayer, I wanted God to lead me to be a disciple in whichever job He had for me in His plan.  Before every job interview I always pray, “God, please lead me to where You want me to be. This job isn’t just to serve customers, but to serve You Lord. Place me in a position in a job where I can share Your word with all that I meet. There’s no better job than serving and loving You Lord.” Thankfully, I’m at the next chapter in my life where I learn to be a beacon of God’s light in this new job and new place.

God taught me a lesson which took me 3 months to comprehend and understand but I’m so thankful for His guidance. I’ve learned to rely on my faith and not the money that fuels this world. I’ve learned to be patient and humble and not anxious and selfish. I’ve learned that even the poorest of us can learn to dance and live in the richness of God’s splendor.

“Making money, it isn't easy
And it sure won't make you happy
So I think it's funny
We're so concerned with making money

And money won't keep folks from grieving
And it won't stop love from leaving
So here's my two cents
What's the use in making money

And I know that life ain't cheap
And not all good things are free
But there is no enough and no too much
and it seems so strange to me
I just think it's funny
We're so concerned with making money."

- Ben Rector’s “Making Money”

Spring Break 2k14 - New York

“I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow.  It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow.  The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work.”

-1 Corinthians 3:6-8

So it’s the last day of Spring Break and I’m about to get back into the routine of things but I wanted to tell you about my week in New York. So this past week, I went on a mission trip with Baptist Campus Ministry (BCM) to Long Island, New York. First off, I don’t know why I traded my Spring Break for 30 degree weather with wind chill temperatures in the 10-20 degree range when instead I could have been at the beach or been at home sleeping. Honestly, I’m insane for doing such a thing but rather I’m glad I sacrificed my comfort in order to further God’s Kingdom.

One of the major tasks that we did was distribute fliers for Crossroads Church of Long Island, which had 2 locations with one being in Farmingdale and the other in East Islip. They had printed over thousands of fliers and it was our job to go door to door and put these fliers on people’s doorknobs. When in reality, this seems absurd, tedious, and pointless, however, I decided to look at it in a new light. While giving out the fliers, I reminded myself, “There is at 1 person who is going through a rough time and needs God in their life. Maybe this Easter service will allow them to connect to God and answer their prayers.” With that mindset, I was determined to bring about an impact in a stranger’s life through 1 simple piece of paper.

Every mission trip I like to take something different from it and learn something new about my faith. In a previous mission trip where I went to New Orleans to help victims of Hurricane Katrina, you could see physical end products like a painted home or a cleaned out lot. During my time in New York, I wasn’t able to see a finished product and that to me was what held me back from seeing the true purpose of my mission.

The verse I posted above I believe is the one that most resembles my work throughout the state of New York. I’m sad I don’t get to see how many people show up at the Easter Service at Crossroads but I can be content in knowing that I had a part of it. I was the planter who placed the seeds into these people’s lives and it’s ultimately all in God’s hands who will bring about a change in them.

Sometimes it’s not always about seeing the end result. Great things come with time and I know God is slowly at work in the lives and hearts of all the people we came into contact with.

It’s a blessing to be a planter because one day, we get to overlook and admire all the seeds that turned into beautiful trees for God. 

More. Less

Hope More

·         Stop being discouraged about all the things around you. Don’t let your parents tell you how to live your life. Don’t let the people around stop you from pursuing your dreams. Don’t let the chains of the past hinder you from living in today. Instead, start having hope in tomorrow. Have hope that there are good people in this world. Have hope that God will provide you with everything you need, not everything you want. Have hope that God will get you through today. Have hope in yourself because a positive outlook provides a happier life.

Whine Less

·         Stop complaining about every single detail of your life. Someone out there, or even someone around you has it much worse. Some people aren’t fortunate to have a nice car, nice clothes, a caring family, a stable financial background, or etc. We are blessed beyond words. In Jesus’ death on the cross, He paid an ultimate price that we could never pay for ourselves. Jesus was entitled to everything but instead He laid down His life for us and set every worldly thing aside. Instead of complaining about what we do or don’t have, why don’t we start appreciating and thanking God for all of our blessings? Jesus lived the life I lived and died the death I should have had. Let’s stop whining less.

Breathe More

·         So often we are stressed and we forget to even breathe. Take a second, step back, and just breathe in. Take in the world. Take a moment and look at everything going on around you. Some people are consumed with the business of this world that they forget to stop and admire the beauty of God’s creation. Slow down and just breathe. You’ll be amazed at how amazing life truly is when you learn to let go and let God.

 

Talk Less

·         Stop trying to take control of all the conversations. Stop trying to out speak others. Instead of trying to talk about the latest happenings and news, take a second and listen to what people have to say. Give people the opportunity to share what’s going on in their life. So often we’re quick to speak without thinking or we plainly talk too much, and in return we neglect the opportunity to hear what people have to say. There are times when we must be speakers and then there are times when we must be listeners. You’d be surprised at what you can hear from others and gain from them. This aspect also applies to God’s word. Stop being consumed with the social media or newest gossip and try to listen to what God’s trying to tell you. God doesn’t always speak to us directly but rather He speaks to us through people and through His creation. When we learn to become better listeners, we also learn to become better speakers.

 

Say More

·         There have been so many times where there has been a moment where I wish I said something different or even said something more. When you look back at your past, there’s always that “What if?” and you think about how things could be different. I strongly encourage to always speak your mind and to seize every moment you can. Something you say to a person can save a life or even have an impact on them that goes beyond measures. Never be afraid to take a leap of faith and say how you feel. Don’t be afraid to speak up and defend yourself or even another person. Don’t be afraid to be a follower of Christ. Don’t be afraid to speak your faith and to share God’s words with believers and non-believers. We aren’t called to sit here in the silence. We are called to be leaders and to be radical followers.

 

Hate Less

·         Just because someone is different than you, wears different clothes, has different beliefs, or lives in a different lifestyle doesn’t mean you have any reason to hate them. There is honestly so much hate in this world and it’s completely absurd. As followers of God, how dare we have the guts to hate another person, who is clearly a creation of God. No matter how badly treats me and no matter they may make my life a piece of crap, there is no way I could possibly hate them. We give ourselves dumb reasons to hate a person. Instead of trying to hate a person, why don’t you try loving them instead? It’s hard to love the people that complicate your life. Believe me, I would know because I struggle with it myself. In the end, these people are teaching you lessons about life and without them, your life would never be the same.

 

Love More

·         You know what one of the greatest things you can do for a person is? The answer is to love them unconditionally. Love a person past their imperfections. Love them past their mistakes and faults. Love them for who they are and don’t let anything diminish that love. Don’t be afraid to completely love on your friends and family, or even on a complete stranger. Seize every moment you can to tell a person how much you love them because you never know when they might be gone one day. Remind people that someone loves them because so often we forget what it’s like to be loved. Share the love of God with someone old or new today. You’d be surprised at what God’s love can do to transform a person.

Wreck Me

 

 

When I first listened to this song or even watched the video, I was taken aback at the fact that 1) Miley is naked, 2) she’s making out with a sledgehammer, and 3) she’s riding around on a wrecking ball. How do you even respond to this video? However, after really listening to the song and paying attention to the lyrics, I realized that this song is truly powerful and emotional. Even after reading the picture that I attached above, I could definitely feel a connection with Miley.

 How often have you tried to reach out to a person and really tried to peel back their layers? Sometimes it’s easy but most times it’s difficult to get inside. I speak from experience with this topic and I easily identify with Miley’s pain. This song is her declaration of showing that she’s hurt. It’s her declaration of showing she needs help and that she’s still in love.

I feel like so often we’re trapped in this relationship with a person where we love them and only want to be a part of their life, but instead all of our efforts go to waste and we only get hurt in return. If we know we’re only going to get hurt, why don’t we just stop and walk out on this relationship? We all know the answer to this. We know that we don’t want to give up because we’re holding onto the hope that one more effort can reach through to this person. We’re hoping that they will change. How can we let go of the person we love so much?

Lately, I’ve learned that I shouldn’t wear myself thin on the people who brush aside all my attempts to reach out to them. After doing everything I’ve done, I’ve learned that I just need to step back and walk away. I relate closely to Miley in the sense that in the process of trying to reach through to a person, we lose ourselves and break down. We’re the ones that end up getting hurt and we’re the ones holding onto whatever hope we can find.

This doesn’t mean though that you shouldn’t reach out to people or simply give up on them just because. What I’m saying is that you’ll reach a point where you learn that you just need to stop, take a breath, and move on with your life. There’s a reason people are in our past and as much as it sucks, you gotta keep moving forward. There are other people in this world to meet and new relationships to make.

The one part that really sticks out in this whole song is when Miley sings,

“I never meant to start a war.
I just wanted you to let me in.”

Sometimes I look back at my past and I wonder why some friendships never worked out. It kills me sometimes thinking about how I tried so hard and just nothing I did could save any of the friendships. It absolutely sucks knowing you were in a friendship/relationship and the other person did nothing and made no effort.

Like Miley said, I just wanted a person to let me in. I wanted to be a part of their life. I wanted to know the real them. I wanted to be important to them. I wanted to be wanted.

I have so much respect for Miley and for this song. After hearing this song and being flooded with so many emotions, I discovered that I too was wrecked. To all the people that hurt me intentionally or unintentionally, you hurt me in a way that wasn’t physical, but in a way that hurt me on the inside.

Like Miley said, “I will always want you.”

I will always want the best for you.

I will always wish that things were different.

I will always be praying for you.

I will always be hoping that maybe one day things will change.

I will always hope that you will let me in.

I will always wish you never wrecked me.

2014

New Year – 2014

So now that it’s 2014, I’ve never before in my life seen so many New Years Resolutions, “2013 taught me _____” posts, or so many cliché sayings on Twitter, Facebook, and just about every other social media site. My favorite one so far definitely has to be “New Year, New You.” As repetitive as this saying is and as much as I don’t completely agree with it, it is a somewhat good motivator. However, if you want to change who you are this coming year, don't change for anyone, change for yourself. Set goals for yourself where ultimately you can become happy with yourself. Don't lose weight or try to be smarter to impress other people but rather to impress yourself. I came across this picture on Twitter and I found it so fitting for this New Year.

So often we struggle with our identity because one second wearing Hollister is cool and now it's frowned upon. In order to be cool or to fit in, you have to wear Vineyard Vines or Patagonia. People give others weird looks if they don't have an iPhone. We can never be satisfied with how we look because society deems that you have to be tan, skinny, and with a perfect smile. We're so insecure about the car we drive, the brand of clothes we wear, the way we do our makeup, our weight, our financial background, and so much more. Society is so fast paced and we're constantly trying to keep up and trying to fit in. We are conforming to what society thinks is the most favored upon and in this process, we are losing who we are.

I applaud those who could care less about what society thinks. I've slowly gained the same mindset and I've learned that being a unique individual in a world of followers is what sets you apart and makes you become you. Be yourself and know that it's enough. This year of 2014, don't lose yourself in trying to become something you're not. I'm not trying to discourage anyone of trying to achieve their goals, rather, I want people to know that you are perfect just the way you are now. I highly encourage anyone who is trying to further better themselves in their health or etc in this coming year. Just remember, you are doing this for yourself and know that a person should be accepting of you whether you are your "old self" or "new self" no matter what.

Your self worth does not depend on what others think of you.
You are worthy.
You are enough.
You are you, and that's all that matters.