"Intense love does not measure, it just gives." -Mother Teresa

We Don't Always Get What We Want

So I had the interview today, and though I believe it went fairly well, I didn't get the job. Reason being is that I'm going to graduate and go off to college soon and the job calls for someone who's gonna be there a little bit longer than that. So in all, it was totally understandable as to why I didn't get it.

Even though I was a bit upset to not get the job, I was completely humbled by the experience and all my interviews. In our life we will want so many things but it turns out that we don't get all of it. As to why we don't get it is because God knows what's best for us. There's a reason I didn't get the job today because there's something in my future that He's preparing me for. Deep down I feel like he really wants me to focus on relationships with people around me and most importantly my friends.

Time is ticking and graduation is almost here. I really want to make an impact before I go and I want to develop lasting friendships and relationships with people at my school as well as those in the community.

Maybe this is what God wants me to do. Maybe this is what I need to do.

My God Is Here

So today I had the opportunity to go to my college, the University of Alabama at Birmingham, to eat lunch with the college President and go on a special campus tour. Being there at the college made me even more excited for when I move in in August. Not only that, I'm just excited for a new life in the city.

Anyways, the most important part of my day was the fact that I really got to talk to my mom today. And by talk, I mean we had deep conversations about life, our faith, and just people in our lives. I drove to Birmingham and back and all the while my mom and I talked about things we normally don't talk about. We talked about problems in our own household, my faith journey, and just passions of my own. It was really good because my mom and I never had this connection before.

On my way home, I got a phone call saying I have a job interview and that probably made my day even better. I've been praying about this job and I'm glad that God has been blessing me with all these countless opportunities.

Tonight, my mom and I went to an informational meeting about my church's upcoming mission trip over the summer. It was really awesome and I'm glad that I'll be spreading God's love and serving Him in San Antonio, Texas. Along with that, I pitched ideas on ways to fundraise money for our trip and one of them was a big concert at our church. Things are in planning mode but I'm feeling really good about it!

What really surprised me tonight was that my mom wanted to pray with me as soon as we got to church tonight before the meeting. She said, "Let's thank God for the safe trip we had today and everything else." I was really taken aback but I was glad I was able to share this moment with my mom.

God is definitely here with me and He's answering my prayers. With God in my life, there's no telling in what He's gonna do for me. He's helping me so I can help others.

Hate in the Social Media

Everyday when I check my Twitter or Facebook, I always see people posting hateful things about people or life. To me, it just bothers me because I know at times life can get troubling, stressful, and even chaotic but it takes time to realize that the obstacles in life you face will only make you a better and stronger person. Instead of hating the world and those that live on it, let's take the time to actually step back and appreciate what you do have now. Along with that, take into account that hating a person or degrading them in hurtful ways will do nothing. It makes you no better person than him/her. It's hard to accept things how they are but that's a part of life and a step in maturing.

So instead of being fueled with hatred today, think how life might be different for you if you didn't focus all your energy on the negative. Bad things happen in our life but so do good things. Love a life with no hatred. Let's Erase the Hate.

The Ongoing Fight

I just don't understand. I don't understand how I will ever come to terms with my step dad. I'm trying to be so nice and I'm trying to keep up with my chores but he just always finds a way to revert back to his old ways and get mad at me. Like I don't even know what to say. He tells me that I'm saying "okay" but I never back it up with action. In reality though, I'm trying so hard to do everything. I'm tired of getting yelled at.

Just a few minutes ago he came into my room yelling at me and going off saying how he's losing faith in me and threatening with negative punishments so that I'll keep up with everything. He straight out told me "I don't give a fuck about your bullying movement." That for me made me lose all respect in him. Like I thought parents were supposed to be supportive. I just don't know.

He even pointed out that we do fight every week. Well, I don't retaliate or anything but he was pretty much saying that he gets mad at me for something every week. Basically he told me I'm selfish and whatever.

I just want this all to be over. I just want to graduate and move far away. I'm just tired of feeling on the verge of crying from this frustration. I just want to be free of it all.

Time to Come Back

As I have taken a really long break from my blog, I feel as though that it is time I start blogging again and start talking about what's going on in my life lately. It's time for the world to slowly start seeing who I really am and what I'm going through.