iTune Into Him

So this past weekend I had the opportunity to spend my last high school retreat ever with my Youth Group with the theme being Music. As the weekend progressed, it slowly came to my attention that "This is it. This is seriously my Senior Year. This is my last retreat for awhile." Coming into the retreat, I promised myself that I would make an impact on the Youth Group so that the next generation of students in the church would become leaders themselves and take care of the Youth Group in our place.

It's just crazy to think that I went on almost all the retreats from my Freshman Year until now and how much has changed and how many people are gone now. However, throughout the retreat experience, I did grow in my faith and grew closer to some new and old friends. Especially at night, I had really deep conversations with friends.

Many told me that I've done an awesome job so far at changing the world and that I've treated everyone with equal respect. Despite not even knowing some of these people personally, it was truly touching to know that I was making an impact on people even without directly talking to them. Not only that, a new friend I made told me, "I can't believe this is your last retreat. I just met you and you're seriously an awesome guy. You have to come down when you're on break at college." It seriously just hit home because all these people were expressing to me how much I was making a difference in their lives through my faith and through my anti-bullying movement. For me, I kinda just shook off the complements because honestly I felt like I haven't done enough. I know I can do better and I know can contribute more to this world. But in the end, I do appreciate all the support and kind words from everyone. It's good to know that I'm doing something right and that I'm making an impact on all these people's lives.

When I'm in college looking back at all my time spent at church, it's going to be great to know that I had such a supportive community that was always there for me when I wasn't always there for them. I'm never going to forget all the laughs, friends, and memories made.

My faith has made me who I am and I will live my faith out loud as I prepare to enter a new chapter of my life with God.

Time is Ticking

As time is quickly flying by, my time here in Coweta County is slowly diminishing. I know deep down inside of me that it's time for a new life in Birmingham, but I'm not sure I'm ready. Everyone around tells me that they're ready to graduate and I agree, but the people who aren't graduating don't understand how big of a life transition this is.

Honestly, I don't know where I belong in this world and I don't know what God wants of me. So many times I confuse my own selfish desires and pursuits that come into conflict with God's plan. It doesn't make me doubt but it shows me that God has something better else for me. For me, Coweta County is such a great area but I know it's not for me. My heart isn't here. I don't know where my heart is. I don't know where I exactly belong yet.

This is why me moving to Birmingham is going to be an interesting experience. Maybe God has called me to do medical research, change the lives of people through the Global & Community Leadership Honors Program, and maybe start a religious revival in Birmingham.

I don't know what I'm going to do when I leave all my friends behind me.

I just have to trust God that He will keep them in my life and allow for new people to come into my life as well.

Honestly, it's because of my friends that I get through the day. I don't know what I'd do without them. From Facebook posts, to text messages, to Twitter, to in person conversations, these people give me hope and remind me that I'm doing something right and that God is continuously at work through me. I'm truly blessed.

We ALL Worship One Beautiful God

Moments

"It's moments like these that I wish I could hold onto forever."

Sometimes I wish I could live in the moments where the world is at peace and I'm at an equilibrium between my mental, physical, and spiritual being with the world and with those around me. It feels like I'm truly happy and that there's not a worry in the world. It's a moment that comes and goes but holds the most meaning to me.

I know deep down that I can't live in these moments forever because life must forward. Not only that, if makes me appreciate life because one good day or moment makes all the sad and frustrating times in the past seem like a blur. We must suffer in order to know happiness. If we never knew pain or sadness, then we could never even begin to understand how much happy times are truly blessings.

Moments may only last a couple of seconds or minutes, but they last forever in the heart and soul of my own.

You Are More To Me Than You Could Ever Imagine

Throughout my life I have met so many amazing people who have gone, who have stayed, and who have slowly drifted away. Nevertheless, I've never been so thankful for all the people that have become a part of my life in some way. Lately I've been meeting a lot of new people and today as I was driving with the windows down, music loud, and stopped at a red light, I really reflected on how God is putting all these people in my life for a reason. I have never loved life so much until now.

Whether I tell people or not, you, my friends, are the reason that I have so much to be thankful for in life. Some people I tell over and over, "You're beautiful. You're perfect. I love you so much. You are my everything. I'm so thankful for you." And the list goes on, but you get my drift. I firmly believe that God is slowly putting together all my broken pieces of who I used to be together into something more beautiful. I've gone through so much in my past life and through my different struggles with depression, family, and my own personal faith journey, but it has only led me closer to God.

Something that has really stuck with me ever since my interview with Chickfila was what the operator told me, "You know, when you meet a person, something clicks and you just know that they're the one." That's how I've been feeling a lot lately. From Cole to Chad to Carly to Brittany to all the other amazing people I've met, I just know that they are the ones to have a large influence on my own life. I will LIVE for these people no matter what. They are the reason why life is so beautiful and that it has so much to offer. I will LIVE for ALL of my friends.

My friends are my life. They are my passion. Nothing will ever stop me from living for these people and defending them.

Please know that whoever is reading this, that You are WORTHY. You are PERFECT. You are BEAUTIFUL. God made you and He made absolutely NO mistakes.

I cannot even begin to express how much you mean to me. You have become a part of my life, my heart, and my soul. Nothing will ever change that. I promise. Nothing. I love you like a love that is indescribable and uncontainable.

I make a promise to you that I will always be here for you no matter what. I make a promise to you that I will never let go of you. I make a promise to you that nothing will ever tear us apart.

I promise to you that I will love you forever and always.

I LOVE COLE CROTEAU. That is all.

Heartache

Tonight while I was praying and worshipping to God at XLT Atlanta, my chest hurt. I didn't know how to describe this feeling until I realized that my heart was aching. Why? It was then that I realized my heart ached for God. I yearned for something more that could satisfy my thirst and need for God. I know I'm not perfect in my faith and there's so much I don't understand but that is why my heart ached. I want to know God even better and I want to grow in my faith. What I have now is not enough and I want more of God. All the time while I was praying, I was thinking in my head when "How He Loves" was going to play. It's an amazing song and I kept wondering why the band wouldn't play a song like that especially during prayer. However, within a couple of minutes, the band started playing the intro and my heart literally just let loose. All at once I felt a complete release from everything and I knew in that moment that God saw that I was ready for Him and that I was truly ready for the next step in my faith journey. I can't even begin to describe how amazing it was for everyone to start singing the song altogether but the feeling of knowing that God answered my prayer right then and there.

Open your heart to God and be ready to experience His everlasting love and grace.

Perfection of Life

It's days and nights like this where I'm completely content with life. Never before in my life have I just been happy to be a teenager. Not a worry in the world and I'm having the time of my life with the friends I so deeply love and care about. How can life get any better?

What does put a damper on this is the fact that I'll be leaving in 6 months to graduate. I'm so determined to make an impact on the student body as well as the faculty of East Coweta. I want to have something to be remembered by. I want everyone to have a piece of me that they can carry on with them as they live out their lives. It is these 6 months that I want to make the most out of every moment.

Thinking how long I've known some of my friends completely blows my mind because it's crazy to know that we've seen each other grow and fall and rise. The same goes with the friends I've recently met. We're all growing in our relationship and creating one that will last forever. Speaking of new friends, I've met so many new and amazing people in the time span of 2 weeks. I know without a doubt that all my old, current, and new friends will always have a place in my heart.

I want to live in the moment. I want to breathe in the air of youth. I want to pour out my love to the world. I want to let my faith shine. I want to be truly alive. I want love and live like there's no tomorrow.