Lessons On A Spiritual Journey

Throughout my spiritual journey with God, there have been many times where I’ve been overwhelmed with unspeakable joy and there have been times where I’ve just completely lost sight of God and fell into holes of depression. 

During my Senior Year, I don’t think I ever talked to God as much as I did then. I was constantly asking Him for guidance for which college to go to, confidence about upcoming interviews with jobs, a healing hand over the broken hearted, peace of mind to get through the stress, unconditional love to be shown to all my friends, and just everything you could think of. I asked Him for about everything and I thanked him every second I could. What gets me though, is that for everything I asked, I pretty much received it in some form or another. If I am given everything by a Heavenly Father that loves me, should I have any reason to be sad? 

The last 6 years of my life have been nothing but being hurt by a lot of people including friends and family. It’s an ongoing struggle but it has taken me forever to realize that God places people in our life as a mean of teaching a lesson or as blessings. Whatever their purpose may be, they all play a role in the person we are today. It’s crazy to think that we let one person or even one bad thing happen in our day to ruin the happiness we have. Our happiness does not depend upon the people we hang out with, the possessions we have, all the food we eat, or all the parties we go to. This is all a sense of false pleasure. Can you compare the happiness you get from eating a warm Krispy Kreme donut to the joy and love that God gives you when you open your heart to Him? It’s a pretty close call for many but what God is pouring out for us is truly rewarding and far greater than anything of this world. 

So this still doesn’t explain why I’m sad a lot of days even though God is with me and wants me to be nothing but happy.

I guess the reason for me is that I let myself run on empty. I keep giving and giving and going and going and then I’m just left there bare handed with empty pockets, a desolate heart, and a pain that only God knows of. But God knows the intentions of my heart and knows a way to ease my pain. 

I get tired of people who don’t make an effort to make a friendship work. I do everything I can for a person but they can’t even send me a text, give me any attention, or even just a slight amount of time. But God never grows tired of me even when I fail Him daily. 

I don’t tell people how I truly feel. I give people the truth but not all of the truth. I don’t tell people when I need help and I don’t tell people what I’m really feeling at some times. But God gives me the help I need and He knows that I need to be more courageous. 

But do you want to know the real reason as to why I’m not completely happy with life and with God? 

The reason is that I haven’t completely surrendered to God. Throughout the last couple of years in my life, I have been trying to put my faith in action. Every single thing I’ve done is all meant to glorify God and to bring others closer to God. This sounds like a pretty great course of action especially when I put all my heart and soul into it. However, I feel like I haven’t given God everything just yet. There are still parts me of that aren’t fully devoted to God. My prayer life isn’t exactly perfect and I definitely don’t spend much time trying to take God’s word in and apply it to my life. I get so caught up in working my jobs, being there for people, and trying to hang with everyone as much as possible. But the one true person I should be hanging out with more than anything is God. 

I owe much to God and every day I try to find ways in which I can glorify Him and see Him in all areas of my life. Not only that, I’m learning how to let my walls come down so that I can just give Him everything I am. God doesn’t need me, but I need Him. He is the one person that will never fail me or you. He is the one person that loves me and you even when it feels like no one else does. He is a listener, He is a fighter, He is a giver, He is a father, He is a supporter, He is everything that we need and everything we aspire to be. 

So what was my lesson learned? 

God has a way of breaking me down and then building me up and in return molding me into something more. He has a way of making me hit a low point in my life so that I may instead reach an even higher point in my life and in return turn me into something more beautiful. I owe Him my life and I need to surrender everything in me and everything I am in order to live the life He has called me to so that I may find joy in all areas of my life and that I may experience this spiritual journey through loving on others and showing this world that God is everything we need and more.