Not Alone In This

"There are things in life that we can't do alone.... That's why we have friends." -Me


This morning I was awoken to startling news that my Grandfather on my Step-Dad's side was dying. I didn't know what to think. I barely know the guy and we aren't even that close. I called him before saying Happy Birthday and he didn't even know who I was. My Grandma (G-Money $$$) had to tell him that I was his Grandson. Up until this point I didn't know what to do or even say. I'm not much of a comforter to people in my family considering I don't even really like them. But I knew I had to tell someone, I needed someone to make me feel better because I was about ready to puke and cry. Haven't felt good lately and I honestly don't wanna deal with all the sad people at this moment of time. Because I am scared of death and I can't handle it.

I had a good friend named Matt ,who's one of my co-workers, come over. I called him having woken up, yeah I felt bad but I honestly needed someone. We were both tired from yesterday since we worked long shifts with barely any sleep. And I knew he wanted to sleep and not come over, but I think he later realized the importance of the situation. Because I was huddled up into a ball on the couch not trying to breakdown because I can't handle everything being thrown at me right now. It's good to have a friend who will go to extremities for you. Matt honestly is a really good friend I've made lately and I trust him with knowing my past and what really goes on in my life. He has changed my life in many ways and I thank God that I found someone who understands me and will continue to be there for me when it feels like all is lost.

So here I am, wishing the music in my ears would drown out the worries of the world and the feeling of coldness in my heart. I want to escape everything and I wanna be at peace with the world. I want to stop hurting. Because right now, I'm just breaking down and I feel like I'm beyond repair. I can't fix everything in my life and I'm only hoping that tomorrow will bring something better.