SEARCH 123

So last weekend, I got the opportunity to serve on an amazing life changing retreat called SEARCH. I can't really say what goes on during the retreat but I can tell you what sort of happened and how it has changed my life in such a great way. I had the chance to be a Table Guide and I was blessed with 6 amazing children. Not only that, but I was blessed with such a great team and a huge amount of Searchers. I can't put everything into words the feelings I felt and all the experiences and bonds I made, but I hold them all close to my heart.

In a way, when it comes to down it, I can't entirely put all the feelings, memories, bonds, and experiences into words. Nothing can describe the transformations I saw in all the teenagers and adults. Nothing can describe the love I felt and still feel for all of them. There's a love inside me of that has become indescribable. This love inside of meaning is constantly finding a new meaning. These people have been changing my life and redefining who I am and what I live for.

I had 6 kids at my table and they were: Alexandra, Abraham, Alexis, Gabbi, Logan, and Tommy. I've never been so proud of them. They honestly changed my life and they've become a large part of it as well. Starting a retreat, people are usually awkward and keep to themselves, but these kids were the ones to defy that awkardness and silence. I've never seen kids so open to express who they are and the feelings they had. I had people asking about my table saying they were sorta jealous of our group hugs and how open my table was. Being on Team is a different perspective when it comes to SEARCH, I saw amazing transformations in these 6 kids that were true blessings from God.

We were more than a table. We were more than just friends. We are a family. The love I hold and posses for each of these kids is far greater than anyone I have ever loved before. Nothing can amount to this love because it is truly endless. And even as I type this blog, I'm sorta crying. Not of sadness, but of pure joy and passion. If I could, I would talk about every single thing that happened at our table but I would need a lifetime. Because even after SEARCH, we're still Table 3 (GTL: Guidos Toward the Lord) and nothing will ever separate us.

One thing that really has been kinda on mind is that fact that people thank me for what I've done and how I've changed their life. These kids say they owe much to me and could never be more thankful. And to be honest, I kinda don't know what I did. I just remained open and went ahead and told them that everything I spoke was truly from my heart and I was gonna be deep. I have to be who I am, I've learned to accept who I am and I want to share all my experiences, thoughts, and feelings to help them connect. Looking back, I wish there was more that I could have said, but in the end what I have given was enough. Maybe the reason why I feel this way is because I guess I've never really been appreciated for what I've done for people. Sure I go out of my way to do a lot of things for people, but this is just different. Changing lives has its own reward and I'm just thankful and hopeful that these kids will remember me in the years to come.

I'm truly grateful that I have changed and impacted their life in some way, because on our Table Candle was the quote "Change One Life At A Time." Our Candle was a Superhero because in our everyday lives, superheroes are just normal people. You don't have to have the power to lift buildings or capture villains. You have the passion to be there for people and help guide them. Being open and showing them love and helping them whenever they fall. That's a real hero.

I want all the searchers especially my table to go out into the world and show God's love and blessing. That's the real challenge. Because I know everyone is still on their retreat high, you have to learn how to transform that into a means of spreading the word and love of God. Even though people will try to cut down that high and obstacles will come your way, it's a matter of keeping your faith strong and never giving up.

As the retreat came to an end, I wanted to do something special for my Table and I thought long and hard on Saturday as well as Sunday morning. I decided what I wanted to do and that was pray over them at the end of this. I carefully thought what I was gonna say, but when it came to it, none of words I thought came out. I just spoke what was in my heart, and that's all that mattered. That last moment, it meant everything to me. Being circled up and holding hands. Our family. At the end of the prayer, I know I was a little shaken up and crying a little bit, but I did it because I truly loved these 6 individuals. My children. They are my everything.

For the first time in my life, I've never cried for someone out of pure love. I've always cried because of sadness and sorrow, but never for love. I love these 6 kids and nothing will change that. I pray and hope that they along with all the searchers will carry this experience with them. SEARCH 123 will forever live in our hearts. Everything, the tears, the love, the memories, the friends, the laughs, the bonds, the splendor and grace of God, is forever etched into our hearts and souls. Whoever is reading this, know that I love you and most importantly, God loves you.

Peace and Love in Christ,
Antonio Foles 121 <><